


Uncertain

by Mapachi



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Disbandment centrict, Fluff and Angst, Gen, can be read completaly platonic too, jaehwan centric, the ongnielhwan is hinted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 11:52:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16492058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mapachi/pseuds/Mapachi
Summary: Jaehwan is honestly sick of his future always hanging on a thin thread, desperate to hold onto it. He had tried his best to not allow his heart to be surrounded with dark feelings like envy and greed, but he was still human, he had his weak moments.He loved singing and be heard, he had dreamed to be a singer able to touch anyone’s heart with his voice since very young and promised his parents and himself to never quit. He didn’t give up no matter how grim everything seemed and now he had finally succeeded.But Wanna One’s time was running out.





	Uncertain

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there~ I'm here this time around with a Jaehwan centric one shot, he's the member I think of the most when 2019 is mentioned to be honest (and he's not even my bias) so this happened.  
> I hope you enjoy it!

Uncertain.

Everything was uncertain.

Jaehwan is honestly sick of his future always hanging on a thin thread, desperate to hold onto it. He had tried his best to not allow his heart to be surrounded with dark feelings like envy and greed, but he was still human, he had his weak moments.

He loved singing and to be heard, he had dreamed to be a singer able to touch anyone’s heart with his voice since very young and promised his parents and himself to never quit. He didn’t give up no matter how grim everything seemed and now he had finally succeeded.

But Wanna One’s time was running out.

They all knew the day would come they would go on their separate paths once again. Their meeting brief but impossible to forget, a time they wouldn’t change a thing of no matter the arguments and stress they went through.

Jaehwan thought he would be able to let go with a smile on his face, wish his brothers to keep succeeding.

Yet there he was, sitting alone in his dorm room no light turned on, allowing to be covered in complete darkness.

He was upset.

He was hurt.

He was lonely.

No contestant back in produce had even thought of the idea of negotiations to be made for the debuting group to extend their contract, it was something impossible to consider.

Back then no one could have predicted the impact the winners would make on the Korean entertainment.

Yet it had happened, the agencies had gathered, and negotiations had been made, offers put on the table and pushed off too. The members themselves had been there if only for the higher ups to pretend they cared for their opinions. 

Against his own will he had felt hope rise from the bottom of his heart when he heard the word “ _extension_ ”, he know he was unable to hide it in his expression, Daniel’s hand falling on top of his knee under the table the signal for him to hide it and at the same time making him glance at their members.

His stupid hope had been trampled by some of their expressions.

Minhyun had been frowning as he stared at his CEO, Daehwi’s expression screamed how baffled he must have been feeling, Woojin looked conflicted next to him, Jihoon had his eyes focused on his hands in between his legs, Jinyoung looked uncertain as he bit at his fingernails, Sungwoon looked plain sad and Kuanlin meet his gaze with his big concerned eyes.

Then he had to go and open his big mouth.

_“Can’t...can’t we do it?”_

Everyone turned to look at him surprised he had spoken. No other member had mumbled a single word since they sat down after greeting everyone.

It was BrandNew’s CEO who answered to him, with a kind and bittersweet smile that made him feel small and powerless and pitied because of it.

_“It’s not that simple.”_

After the meeting everyone had gone back to their business, Minhyun evading Jaehwan on their way out the meeting room even ignoring him when he reached for him, Daehwi and Woojin following their CEO out the building after being promised to be taken to a BBQ place, Jihoon, Kuanlin and Jinyoung a couple steps behind their chatting CEO’s, Sungwoon and Jisung staying behind to talk some more with CJ’s staff and Daniel basically becoming Seongwoo’s shadow as the older male all but ran away from the place.

CJ’s staff had turned to him but before they could call his name, he excused himself and left.

One of their managers drove him back to the dorms and asked him if he wanted him to stay after noticing his mood but Jaehwan kindle rejected him, instead telling him to enjoy some free time himself promising he wouldn’t leave the building and didn’t need to babysit him.

And that was how he ended in his current position on his shared bedroom, the dorm still completely silent as no one had arrived yet.

He was ashamed of how stupid he had been.

How could he allow himself to be hopeful when he knew his friend’s situations? How could he even remotely expect them to drop everything they knew before to stay together with him?

Minhyun and Sungwoon had gone to produce with the mission to make their groups known and keep working together. Daehwi and Woojin were planned to debut with other people heck Jaehwan had once found a scrapped melody Daehwi had been working on with Donghyun for their debut. Jihoon and Jinyoung were the hopes for their agencies to debut a successful boygroup and Kuanlin missed his first best friend made in Korea.

Their eldest would have to join the army in the coming year to do his service, Seongwoo had been receiving so many love calls to star on dramas since before they debuted he would sure be busy after their exclusive contract expires. Daniel had become Korea’s IT boy, and everyone expected to see what he would do after Wanna One.

And him?

He would surely become a soloist; his father had commented he had received so many offers to sing OSTs and CJ would surely give him a collaboration or two using their connections to keep him popular with the younger audience.

But did he want that?

If he had been given the opportunity back in 2016 he would have taken it in less than a heartbeat but now? After going through produce and Wanna One?

He was not sure he wanted to be alone now.

His solo schedules had made it all the realer for him, he had grown used to being surrounded by his friends no matter how loud and annoying they could be. He never realized how lonely his life had been before produce.

Sewoon himself had mentioned it on one of their occasional catch ups on the phone, how he didn’t expect the soloist path to be that lonely because he was not really alone, he always had the staff with him, but it couldn’t compare to having members with him, YDDP promotions just confirming it.

Jaehwan had shared his worries to Jisung one late night in which neither could sleep, the darkness of the early hours of the day giving him the courage to drop whatever defenses he had. Jisung had listened to him not commenting on the way Jaehwan’s voice trembled nor how he choked up.

_“You will always have us_ _Jaehwanie_ _, we will be a call away,”_

But would they really?

Eventually he heard the front door open and familiar steps make their direct way to his room but he stayed still even when they knocked on the door. He didn’t want to see anyone not even his members,  _especially_ his members.

_“_ _Jaehwanie_ _please open up,”_

It was Daniel.

If there was anyone on the group that he knew could understand him he knew it was his same aged friend, Daniel had always been a people person, he thrived in produce making friends left and right and never seen alone, he had worked so hard with Wanna One not only for himself but for his friends who he expected to find when Wanna One ended.

But they were no longer there.

Jaehwan had seen how under the smiles and good luck wishes Daniel had been hurt, childishly not as understanding as Jisung of their friends who couldn’t wait any longer for them. He knew his shoulders carried the heavy weight of expectations, saw him tense whenever his name was mentioned on the same sentence as “ _soloist_ ”.

_“_ _Hwanie_ _please open the door,”_

Ah, Seongwoo was with him.

Sweet and caring Seongwoo, the always sensible older brother who carried his heart on his sleeve. Jaehwan had never dared to share with him his worries of after disbandment because he felt it would be very selfish of him to do so. Seongwoo’s future was as uncertain as his if not more, his agency had been going through some very difficult times this year but even before that if Seongwoo asked to join produce it was to fight for his dream of performing on stage, he didn’t want to just be an actor but also an idol.

Taking in a deep breath Jaehwan slowly stood up and made his way to the door, unlocking it before taking a couple steps back as Daniel and Seongwoo made their way inside.

Jaehwan’s eyes widened when the first thing Seongwoo did was wrap his arms around him, pulling his head to his shoulder and carding his fingers through his hair in a comforting manner, Daniel closing and locking the door behind him before he went and turned on the lamp standing in the corner of the room next to the bunk beds.

_“Hyung?”_

He calls confused but Seongwoo just shushes him like you do a child, the hand on his back rubbing circles that somehow make Jaehwan feel chocked up. Daniel gives them a small smile before he pushes them in the direction of the bed where he positions himself behind them, one arm around Jaehwan and the other one around Seongwoo, both males resting against his chest.

_“You won’t be alone_ _Hwanie_ _,”_

Jaehwan looks up even more confused, Seongwoo smiling down at him and he can see the fire in his eyes, the will to not back down without a fight, his mind set on a goal he will give his everything for. Jaehwan turns back to Daniel asking silently for an explanation and he is given a warm smile, eyes gentle enough Jaehwan can feel his eyes tear up.

_“We won’t be alone,”_

And then he understands.

He lets the tears escape him, shoving his face against Seongwoo’s shoulder as he silently cries. He feels Seongwoo’s body shake against him and Daniel just hugs them both tighter.

They will fight together, none of them have someone waiting for them after December passes by.

They only have each other and together they must stay, be a second home for the others to come back for if only for a brief visit. They can’t allow their memories and time together go to waste.

Wanna One must go on.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's it! Thank you for reading~  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!!  
> Find me on twt @Mapachiii


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